A Tail of Two Kitty's
by Verthril
Summary: When Jubilee tries to find out a bit more about her Vampiric powers, Kathrine 'Kitty' Pryde finds herself suddenly not the only kitty around the school. Before long Ororo, Megan and Laura find themselves enjoying the accident and helping their friend cope in the meantime.
1. Chapter 1

Marvel owns the X-men, no profit is to be made by this work.

"Meow." The kitten mewed.

Had she not just seen it happen Kitty would have liked to believe she couldn't believe it but coming of age with the X-men had pretty much killed her sense of disbelief to the point it took a lot to really ruffle her feathers. Case in point this time watching the girl she considered as close as she'd ever get to know what it was like to have a bratty little sister turning into a cute fluffy kitten.

"I thought you were trying for a bat." Kitty noted, sipping her mug of coffee that stated her other mug was the pot.

"Meerrr." Jubi-Kitten meowed clearly not impressed with her transformation.

"Can you change back?" Kitty asked, flipping through her book and nibbling on a biscotti.

Jubilee's overly intelligent kitten eyes glowed red as her form seemed to grow hazy for a few seconds just as she had trying to transform into a bat. As the glow faded the kitten grew distinct again and curled in on herself. On the one hand it was a black cat Kitty noted so at least it was sort of spooky in a Disney or Pixar sort of way. Patting her lap, Kitty waited as Jubilee pranced over and easily climbed up to nestle down.

"I'm sure it'll wear off after a while." Kitty assured, fondly petting the kitten formerly known as Jubilee.

Secretly though Kitty had to confess it could wait a bit more than a little while, at least this kitten had human intelligence and likely didn't need a litter box. Stopping mid-sip, the question of just what happened to everything vampires ate or imbibed intruded on her thoughts and she throughly beat it down with the baseball bat marked 'Magic!' for the answer.

"So, at least we proved you can change form like all that vampiric lore states even if your first attempt didn't go as planned." Kitty offered, snapping off a piece of biscotti for her lap warmer to enjoy.

She took the purring to be from both the encouragement and the cookie, Jubilee always was a good student if you knew how to handle her. Emma had noted this in her transcript from the Massachusetts Academy once, along the lines of either treat her or trick her. Having gotten some emails over the years, trick her usually meant get the girl angry enough that she'd go out of her way to prove you wrong just for bragging rights. Looking back over her last train of thought Kitty realized she needed a break as she was falling into the Headmistress role a little too much.

"Kitten?" Ororo's voice called from the hallway.

Both Kitty and Jubilee looked up, the one likely forgetting of the others fond nickname. Welcoming herself in, Ororo settled down in a chair across from the desk and took the offered biscotti from the plate that had been nudged. She looked a touch tired and worn but her duties her team and the school were about as demanding as Kitty's own as Headmistress with Logan. Actually Kitty thought hers was worse as she couldn't just beat down the students when they irritated her.

"Busy as always I see?" Ororo noted with a look to the several books strewn across the desk.

"It's a new day out there, and it feels almost like a new world. Logan does what he can but when it comes to a lot of the weightier reading he goes off to keep the kids in order and leave me in peace." Kitty explained, scratching Jubilee behind the ear and finding just how relaxing it was for her too.

"You both seem to be doing a wonderful job especially with everything that happened." Ororo said softly.

Kitty had her own opinion as far as everything 'that happened' and how seemingly easy it was for two women to change the world again. Especially given all the trouble that one of them had caused before and particularly to the girl she was now giving a belly rub to. Life growing up with the X-men was never simple and both herself and Jubilee were graduates of that very different school of hard knocks. She hoped to do her best to make sure none of her own wards and students would ever have to suffer as they had.

"Is that...purring?" Ororo asked after the silence had stretched on long enough between them for it to stand out.

The purring stopped instantly and looking down to her lap Kitty saw Jubilee shaking her little kitten head back and forth looking like so many videos of cats being bothered with that elusive 'red dot' of a laser pointer. Grabbing her by the scruff of her neck she picked her up and placed her on the desk for Ororo to instantly swoon over.

"Goodness when did you get such an adorable kitten?" Ororo asked picking Jubilee up and cuddling her.

To her credit Jubilee looked to be back to enjoying the affection and was back to purring, Kitty enjoying the scene and wondering just how to break the news. On the one hand she did feel a little bad for Jubilee, yet on the other hand how often did you get to say just the words she was toying with.

"About five minutes ago when Jubilee flubbed her transformation." Kitty said gleefully.

Pretty sure she heard thunder, Kitty took that to be Ororo's shock at the revelation but that faded quickly as she looked back into the little kitten face who was currently purring up a storm pardon the pun she thought.

"Jubilation?" Ororo asked, Jubi-Kitten cracking an eye to look to her former team captain and all around mentor and friend.

"It's really her." Kitty chuckled, swirling the last of her coffee for that sip that tasted like another cup.

"Goddess, she is so..." Ororo whispered as she stroked her teammates ears.

"Cute?" Kitty asked, not expecting an answer.

"Adorable." Ororo said, picking the kitten up to kiss her button nose.

Smiling at the sight, Kitty filed that particular memory for a later day if Jubilee ever felt low about being a Vampire as she had after her transformation when she had struggled with the unnatural thirst and all the forced natures fighting with her sense of self. Finding her phone and snapping a photo, she sent it off to Megan remembering a tale about a game of tag that had ended with boulders being thrown.

She figured the upbeat Pixie could stand to see just how her wayward friend was doing. Getting up for her refill, a thought struck her that she of all people should know about teleporters and their rather sudden appearances as Megan popped into existence in her office.

"Where is she?" Megan asked, spotting Jubilee and Ororo shortly after and joining in on the cuddling.

"Merrrrr." Jubilee mewed sounding unimpressed again as she was passed around between the pair.

"Don't you merr me missy." Kitty said.

Marking her page, Kitty figured she might as well give up on whatever she was trying to do with the spectacle going on in her office. Pulling up a chair she joined the two others in having their turns with Jubilee who seemed to be adapting well to her current situation.

"What if she can't change back?" Megan asked playing with Jubi-Kitten's paws.

"It's probably just one of those things that she just has to stop thinking about it and poof." Kitty promised, scratching Jubilee behind the ear noticing what clearly looked like a kitten worrying.

All the while though she started wondering just how she was going to break it to a couple of people in what she really thought of as her sort of immediate but a step removed family. No one could ever take the place of her parents after everything they had been through, right down to how her father had died, but she really considered them family and knew she had to tell them.

"Megan, could you find Laura for me and see if she can't meet down in Logan's office? Next period that's where he should be. I think maybe we should let them in on the fun." Kitty said, gladly taking Jubilee from Ororo who looked extra mischievous with her mohawk.

"Merrrr." Jubi-Kitten mewed unimpressed with the proposed plan.

"Well it's that or he starts asking the kids whose cat you are." Kitty pressed.

If a kitten could sigh like an indigent young woman whose life paralleled her own, Kitty would have thought Jubilee had somehow managed the feat. As it were it sounded more like a sneeze and she just wanted the snuggle her friend even more. The thought of snuggling something so intelligent and full of character had her realize she couldn't wait to get to Logan's office even more as she giggled a touch maniacally to herself. How often could she have this much fun she figured, skipping out the door ready to surprise everyone.

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"Do you have it recording?" Kitty asked of Laura for the third time.

She could tell both Laura and Logan were wondering just where Jubilee was clearly catching her scent so fresh and full, but at the same time they looked to be looking around for the whereabouts of the mystery cat the likely smelt. Sitting on the desk after having lit up one of Logan's cigars was her best friend in the whole wide world, strange that he was a little purple alien dragon but that's what a life with the X-men lead to. Lockheed also looked to be looking around for the cat that she had hidden in her shirt, this was going to be precious to the nth degree.

"Yes, it's recording." Laura promised for the third time.

Both Laura and Logan had noticed just how extra bubbly Megan was and probably put it off to her having a prohibited Redbull, there were just some people that shouldn't be allowed energy drinks and she was one. Though Logan seemed to notice the difference in Ororo most of all who looked to be waiting on pins and needles. Sure she was ready, Kitty reached into her shirt and found Jubilee just where she had hid her, right under the pouch of her hoodie.

Pulling her out and plopping her down in front of Lockheed, Jubilee started hissing adorably complete with her hackles raised high. Both Logan and Laura looked confused but Lockheed was sniffing the intruder to his affections and looked to his friend slash mistress for the answer to his question.

"So, you got a pet kitten? Guess it's about time ya got a normal pet, no offense there buddy." Logan said as he leaned back in his chair to enjoy his smoke.

Whether animals had some sort of telepathy people just didn't know about or were experts at reading facial expressions, both Lockheed and Jubilee looked to another and after the slightest of nods proceeded to attack Logan in a flurry of claws, fangs and the odd spurt of fire. Kitty had to remind herself that Jubilee was still a vampiric kitten and had vampiric strength evident with how she had just knocked a man over who clearly outweighed her. It was right around the time that her kitten eyes started glowing red again that both Logan and Laura put the pieces together.

"How did this...?" Laura asked.

Kitty figured Logan's laughter warranted the attack, adding to the things she had to remember about Jubilee being in this case that she had vampiric speed too as evident by the flurry of paws that just had torn to shreds one James Logan Howelett's face. Sadly the upbeat and perky Pixie had to suffer just about every profanity Logan knew just then, though it was kinda cute seeing her standing there with her mouth agape.

"Jubilee is a cat?" Laura asked, likely just making sure.

"Kitten." Ororo corrected.

"A feline?" Laura tried again.

"A putty tat?" Megan offered doing her best Tweety.

"Jubilee?" Laura asked of the grumpy kitten.

Apparently cats could look apologetic, Kitty would have to file that under useful information if she ever got one. For now she watched with a smile as Jubilee let herself get picked up by Laura to be cuddled and coddled between probing pokes and peeks.

"It's really her, I saw it happen. She was trying to turn into a bat." Kitty explained.

"Well, looks like she got cat instead." Logan chuckled, wiping his face off with a rag he had in his desk for just such an occasion.

Held by the husk of her neck, Jubi-Kitten swiped and clawed at Logan who just laughed harder at the sight. Thankfully the video recorder was still capturing it all for posterity, more than a few people Kitty wanted to send it off to figuring after everything that had happened they could all use a good laugh at Jubilee's expense. It was actually just the crazy bit of normal for the X-men that she needed herself after everything she had been through herself, from her return to Earth to everything else since then.

"Can she not turn back?" Laura asked.

One Jubi-Kitten boop to the nose seemed to show that the currently feline vampire was tired of being talked about in the third person or if she wasn't there. All it took though to pacify her was Laura scratching her behind the ear just like any other kitten. Everyone looked as if they wanted their turn with her aside from Logan who seemed to just be yucking it up.

"She tried, it didn't work. I guess it'll wear off in it's own time." Kitty explained again.

Petting Lockheed as he crawled onto her lap looking a little put out by all the attention lavished on Jubilee, Kitty really had to remind herself that he was a sentient alien dragon who was a champion to his people with how often he seemed to just look for a good scratch himself.

"So, what are we going to do with her until it wears off?" Logan asked, though the glint in his eye hinted he had an idea.

"Well..." Kitty started, looking to Megan and Ororo.

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"Just put up with it Lee..." Kitty asked of her friend.

Pulling up to the department store sized pet store, Megan kept saying she could just teleport them but something about the normalcy of driving just seemed what the doctor ordered. They fought over radio stations and got coffee at the drive through and had the employees fawning over Jubilee and giving her treats. She had tried to bring Lockheed along but after the last time she claimed him to be an 'odd iguana' he wouldn't have anything to do with it. At the same time he loved the treats she brought him home, promising to bring him another fresh batch of whatever disgusting animal bones they were.

"Can I hold her?" Megan asked of Laura, who currently had Jubilee perched up on her shoulder.

"You would have to ask Jubilee." Laura replied.

Kitty had to confess Megan was a delight to be around, watching that little lightbulb go off in her that had her remembering the Kitten she wanted to hold was the same girl she used to go out for coffees with back in San Francisco. Some cuddling and coddling later had Megan enjoying Jubilee curled up on her shoulder walking into the pet shop.

"Okay, we need a collar with her name on it and some flea drops and just some toys for her to play with as we know how bored she can get and I don't need a bored Vampiric Kitten running around the school." Kitty said recalling everything she could think of off the top of her head.

"Flea drops?" Megan asked, a 'Meeerrrr' from Jubilee showing her offense.

"You don't have fleas Lee but I'm not so sure about some of the male student body. Bad hygiene gets more complex when you're dealing with mutant teenage boys." Kitty explained.

One Kitten equivalent of a groan later had that issue out of the way, the collar wouldn't be too bad given that she was known to wear chokers so it wasn't that much a stretch. Toys though, that would be interesting. Kitty had to wonder just how well that Kinect system would work for a cat, maybe they could just get her some games to try and figure out rather than a rubber mouse.

"Oh my gosh she's so cute, what breed is she?" A staffer asked noticing Jubilee.

"Vampire." Laura stated flatly, the smile on the staffer faltering under her gaze.

"I'm sorry?" The staffer asked, a woman who looked to be getting to that age where the cats might start reaching the threshold of the honorary Crazy being tacked on there somewhere.

"Sorry, that's her name, Vampire Jubilee. She's a...mix." Kitty recovered.

"Aww now aren't you just darling." The staffer, who the jury was still out on whether or not to call crazy, purred while petting Jubilee.

It was right about then that Kitty started to wonder about that whole infectious bite issue with Vampires and figured right as she started her pre-emptive scolding of Jubilee who looked ready to bite the lady. Waggling a finger and making a gesture for fangs with her fingers, Kitty breathed a sigh of relieve catching her kitten friend looking chagrined by her lapse.

"So what can I help you folks with?" Clearly crazy from nowhere near Colorado asked.

"A collar and flea drops." Laura stated.

"Toys!" Megan chirped, Kitty wondering just who they were for.

"A bed." Ororo said, adding to the list.

"Those weird stinky bones, I think they're from cows or bison or something." Kitty asked recalling she figured she'd be in the proverbial dog house if she forgot his treat.

Crazy and the others looked at her if she were crazy, turning back to Jubilee who was furiously scratching herself behind the ear. Maybe she could get some flea drops for the student body while she was here Kitty wondered.

"I...don't think those are good for kitties..." Crazy said slowly.

"They're for my...dog." Kitty said with a pause, nearly having said dragon.

"Oh, your little kitty as a puppy friend? That's so sweet, well just right this way we got a fresh batch in." Crazy promised.

Three isles in and Kitty could smell them, it was another five until they got to the rack of...

"Excuse me." Laura said, leaving what looked like the leftovers of a roadkill accident in the desert.

Ororo joined her and Megan stood transfixed staring at all the shelves full of self serve bins for customers with the need of their pets to chew on stuff that had name full of various parts of anatomy most people could go their lives without needing to know.

"Do puppies really...eat..." Megan was asking in a high pitched voice of someone who had just found out Santa wasn't real.

"Why don't you go see Ororo and Laura." Kitty urged.

Watching the pink haired girl wander off, it was then Kitty realized that she should have had a little black patch of fur curled up there. She couldn't remember if Jubilee had been passed around or not, but if she had run off on her own Kitty was about to go test some of that other Vampiric Lore in the form of a whoop ass.

"Now, what flavour does your dog like?" Crazy asked, showing a few new product lines that all looked and smelt the same.

"Uh? Crunchy?" Kitty asked.

That was about the only thing she could remember as far as what Lockheed did with them, hiding behind the sofa in her room with a horrible noise that proved just how strong his jaw was.

"I know just the one!" Crazy chirped, coming back with a bag full of...clearly crunchy and decidedly gross.

"Thanks, I'll just...go do some browsing." Kitty smiled thinly.

"Well if you need any help we're just all over the store." Crazy threatened, at least that was how Kitty took it.

Rushing off in search of her friends and one pint-sized one in particular, sure enough they had gone off on their own just to make her task all the harder. Laura was the first she found, sitting cross-legged in front of a display of husky puppies romping and playing. Spotting one that had two different colours of eyes who was currently chewing on another's ear, Kitty had to hope wherever Jubilee was she could take care of herself as she got her heart achingly sweet 'squee' moment tended to.

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Jubilee had decided she needed a break from all the petting and cuddling and 'Aww look at her wittle nose' that had filled her life ever since her failure at turning into a bat. All she really wanted to do was try flying for the first time, just completely unfettered from the world and soaring through the air like so many people she knew. She doubted she would have been getting the kind of treatment she currently was if she was a bat. Except maybe Megan, who was a special kind of person. The kind of person you could wonder at, but if anyone ever tried to throw a wet blanket on her perkiness they were in for a world of hurt. She still felt bad for the boulder but she wasn't really herself, maybe she'd let Megan dress her up and take pictures later if this lasted too much longer Jubilee mused, that should make them even.

"Are you lost?" A sickeningly sweet voice asked.

Nope! A burst of Vampiric Speed had her hiding under a shelf looking at the confused old woman who might as well have Crazy tattooed on one hand and Cat Lady tattooed on the other even if she might have to get creative on how to make it fit. Thinking she could afford a breather while she wondered what to do with her freedom, a scream that could only come from a young girl rang through the store, the kind of scream reserved for finding out that well, 'Yes Cordelia there is a Dracula'.

Dashing and darting through the isles, she found out just what had the girl screaming as well as a mother likely having fainted. Even everything she had seen in her life which was a severely long list, Jubilee had to put watching a Corgi getting choked out by an obvious escaped python from the lizard section of the store as heart breaking and day ruining. Hackles raised, she was about to open a can of whoop ass on this snake.

"No, don't!" The girl screamed as Jubilee rushed the snake.

"Mew." Jubilee meowed, meaning Sorry Kid, Busy.

Thankfully the Corgi was still alive by the squirming and painful whimpering Jubilee saw, fuelling her more to save the puppy. Why people even wanted snakes as pets she would never know, that was totally in the range of creepy dudes that liked watching this or the kind of people that kept their eye out for volcanoes as habitable real estate. Figuring turn about was fair play, Jubilee grabbed the snake by the neck and started working her vampiric strength into what any other time would have looked cute as it appeared she was currently trying to hug the snake. Nix that, hugging snakes was never cute.

"Jojo!" Little girl cried, her puppy falling free of the coils of the python.

Having decided dog was off the menu the snake turned it's attention to Jubilee herself, wrapping itself around her. Well, too bad for python she wasn't no normal kitty and for that matter she didn't need to breath. At the same time a kitten kicking a snakes ass might raise a few eyebrows as the crowd came, so she decided to fake it. Kitty or Laura had to have heard that scream, Ororo could handle it no problem but might have a time trying to explain lightning indoors let alone the results while Megan...might pull some crazy magic that to her world view would be a valid response to a snake choking out a kitten.

As it was Kitty came rushing through the isles as only she could, that being the shortest distance between two points as she ghosted her way right through the displays. Rolling her eyes at catching Kitty's terror at the scene, Jubilee waited for her 'saviour' to extract her if only to get away from all the kids crying at the last thing they should be watching. These people seriously needed to have their parenting skills reviewed.

"Jubilee?" Kitty asked, ghosting her out from the python.

Finding it's meal currently elsewhere, the Python was already on the prowl when a 'snickt' combined with some growling that wasn't coming from any of the dogs in the store to have it turn and look on Laura. One thing Jubilee knew about Logan and Laura was that they had a way with animals, currently the python was probably realizing it had 'Wallet' written in its future if it didn't curl up into a ball and wait to be put back in it's cage.

"She saved my dog!" Little girl swore, pointing to Jubilee.

Gasps went around the gathered crowd while some staffers came to wrangle the now very docile python. Jojo was getting checked out by an onsite vet and given a clean bill of health other than the scare of his little life. Jubilee watched it all as if it were another day at the office, Kitten or not you didn't stop being an X-man because life threw another curve ball at you. It was the story of her life.

"Jubilee why don't you go make friends." Kitty said softly.

As much as she just wanted to sup on a saucer of some nice blood, feeling in the mood for Deer as it were, Jubilee licked Kitty on the nose and let herself be put down next to Jojo. Even as a Vampire Kitten, a puppy was a puppy and she was playing and cuddling with the little guy in seconds while people took their photos. Two to one the whole story was going to go viral, and as she let herself be pet by the Little Girl named Angie that it just went to figure she'd never be able to say in public 'Yeah, that was totally me' once this flopped transformation wore off.

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Author's Note : Just the silliest little idea that popped into my head. Was originally thinking of it as a one shot but I think I'll have fun with it for another chapter or two instead as it's just too silly not to toy with :) Enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

Marvel owns the X-men, no profit is to be made by this work.

Kitty found her just where she thought she would have, curled up on top of the clothes dryer fast asleep down in the sub basement. The reason for her lack of surprise was ever since she could remember this was where she went looking for Lockheed and sure enough there he was by Jubilee snoozing on the warmth of the dryer as it rocked them both like babes. As far as Vampiric Crypts went...the laundry room was sorrily lacking in the macabre. Unless you took in all the laundry the boys produced and then it was outright horrific.

"We're going to town and you're coming." Kitty stated, both Lockheed and Jubilee cracking one lone eye open to look at her.

"Meerrrrrrr." Jubilee groaned, burying her face in her fluff.

Taking the snort of flame as the dragon equivalent of a 'Meerrr' she imagined both were on the same page of being asked to leave the warmth and massage of the dryer. That was why she came prepared, as they said know your enemy. Opening the dryer door, she threw her boots in and left knowing the rocking and bouncing of the dryer would be enough to get the two looking for her once they realized their nap time just became futile.

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So far it had been three days of having an extra body sharing her bed and waking to have Jubilee curled up snoozing lightly on her pillow looking every bit the cute and cuddly kitten she was momentarily stuck as. The school had gotten used to it pretty quick and often the girls were seen wandering around looking for the 'school mascot' to play with. The Kinect had been a hit with both Jubilee and the kids, people young and old trying their luck against the fluffy fury doing her damnedest to win.

As it was a few of the esteemed and enlightened in the super hero community were interested with the news that had travelled around by way of viral videos and a facebook page that had popped up with candid snapshots of the internets newest kitty star. There was a betting pool going around if Jubilee would be back to normal before the networks decided to invite her on as a guest. Heading to the kitchen for her third cup of coffee of the morning, she gave herself another three minutes until she was attacked by an irritated dragon and vampiric kitten so she might as well get her fix in while she could.

"Do you think Mister Richards has forgiven me?" Megan asked after bursting on in a cloud of pixie dust.

Wearing half her mug of coffee and biting her tongue against teaching any of the nearby students some of the more extraterrestrial swear words she knew, Kitty turned to Megan and plastered a smile on her face. The girl was sweet and honest and she wanted to let her stay that way for as long as she could, but getting fooled by some stooge Skrulls wasn't a highpoint on anyone's resume.

"Yes, he has. You don't have anything to worry about Megan." Kitty assured, topping up her brew and adding a half teaspoon of sugar.

Spying Laura at the door, her lips betrayed her and twisted into a dumb smile watching how easily Jubilee suddenly appeared in a burst of speed to pounce and climb up to her friend's shoulder assuming her usual haunt. Getting a good stink eye thrown her way by the kitten, Kitty just let herself sink to the younger girl's level and threw a raspberry at her.

"Good morning Katherine." Laura greeted as she found her way past to the cupboard and found herself a mug.

"Morning Laura." Kitty smiled, leaning up against the counter and enjoying her cup of coffee.

Checking the time, she thought it was about just right and put on the kettle, a mug and a teaball ready with a bled of herbal for Ororo. The four of them would be heading off to Manhattan for the rather absurd and impromptu meeting of bored Super Geniuses. As far as calling Doctor Strange or any other occult specialist, well Jubilee had expressed her opinion of that with an extra loud 'Meeerrrrrrr'.

"Coffee..." One Pagie Guthrie groaned, walking in and targeting the coffee pot.

The moment Kitty had been waiting for had just happened and she just played dumb, herself and Paige having come to less than amicable terms as of late over an argument. Sure enough Jubilee gave Laura a lick and then pounced onto her 'Hayseeds' head as the former farm girl got her java fix. It was enough to make her feel bad about the whole thing, not even knowing what started it but seeing the two former classmates of Generation X playing she put herself in the wrong if only to make it easier.

"That's an old pot, let me fix you a new one." Kitty said, the brew she was sipping tasting less than fresh.

Paige looked to her icily, but having a kitten pawing at one's golden locks was enough to make anyone warm. Rumour had it her and Mortimer were seeing another, remembering a time Toad had been a so-called Villain of the Week. From playboy billionaire to janitor, Paige had found love in interesting places but her own track record wasn't that good herself Kitty thought.

"Thanks." Paige said cooly.

It didn't help that her older brother had been around for so much of it, now gone the way of an Avenger. She felt bad for Paige and everything she had been through, just as much as Jubilee herself and Laura for that matter. It made her all the more determined to make sure this latest batch of mutants would be safe from everything they had all suffered, or at the least would have people there ready to help them.

"Dammit Jubes, let me rub your belly!" Pagie cried as the vampiric kitten did as most kittens or cats did and clawed the hand that gave the much loved belly rubs.

"Merrrrr" Jubilee mewed, sprawling back though her paws twitched as Paige gave her pettings.

"If she's stuck like this, do you think she might find Mister McCoy cute?" Megan asked out of the clear blue sky.

The entirety of the kitchen turned to her in both a look of shock and horror as their mind twisted to the non-euclidean space that was home to such horrors as only Lovecraft and a writer of a series of vampire romances had delved to investigate. It was like imagining a Great Dane falling in love with a Pomeranian, square hole round peg. Turning to Paige whom she had been at terms with, it seemed their peace accord came in the form of one shiver of disgust as they went back to watching the holy nectar drip away in it's tantric tattoo.

"I didn't mean like that!" Megan defended herself to a hung jury.

"It's just that he's kinda kitty like, not Katherine Kitty like but meow mix kitty like! But more tiger..." Megan explained, the audience heading out without waiting for the credits to roll not caring who the gaffer nor lighting technician was.

"Meeerrrrrr" Jubilee mewed, likely saying along the lines of 'You're only digging yourself deeper Pixie.'

"Jubilation has already told me she finds Mister McCoy cute even before her current condition." Laura remarked, a pin dropping then would have sounded as loud as a steel I beam falling through the roof.

Apparently kittens could look just about as shocked as anyone else when it came to a secret being told. The situation was a familiar one to one, and Paige gathered up Jubilee into her arms and started petting her tenderly having been in love with a peer to the very man in question. The worst part was that the man in question was going to be among the geniuses interested in her on their trip to town.

"Laura, perhaps..." Kitty started.

"Laura what would you have done if I blurted out you liked Hellion but you didn't want everyone to know!" Megan shrieked.

"I would have fought my urge to impale you and then walk off without addressing the situation, feeling bad for having considered violence against a friend." Laura flatly stated.

"Now what if you were currently stuck as a kitten?" Paige asked, everyone witnessing as that little light went off in Laura that marked her realizing her faux pas.

"I'm sorry Jubilee, I didn't mean to..." Laura began, though Jubilee simply answered by leaping from the handles that cradled her to land on Laura's shoulder and affectionately nuzzle her cheek.

"It looks like you're forgiven, and as for the rest of you..." Kitty said, turning to the gathered students.

"Danger Room sessions if we gossip?" A student asked.

"No, community service with Mister Toynbee. No offence meant Paige." Kitty said, back-peddling as she realized she might be laying on another insult.

"None taken, Momma always had those kinda chores ready for us when we had been up ta no good." Paige replied falling back into her rural upbringing.

"Consider yourself invited, and Mister Toynbee. We leave in an hour." Kitty said, heading off to make sure the Headmaster would be able to hold the fort in their absence.

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"You're a good influence on him." Ororo remarked.

Currently Logan had returned from helping Mortimer finish snaking a toilet, the former villainous mutant clearing the clog without fuss nor muss. He was a man who had come to terms with himself she saw, come to accept himself as he was and do what he could. Having lived by his powers alone, now he made his way by his hands keeping the school running, in his own way just as important as any teacher or Headmaster or Mistress.

"He just needed someone ta give him a few words o' encouragement." Logan said, wiping his hands with a rag.

"It seems more than a few people around here could use some words of encouragement." Ororo remarked.

Until a little while ago the supposed Mutant Species had been Endangered, but with but a few spoken words once more between two beings of unimaginable power that had been completely reversed. As fickle as the weather could be, it had it's own rhyme or reason, but people able to affect the whole of reality of their world, that left a bad taste in her mouth. It had been a taste she had hoped she would never know again.

"Way I hear it yer taking a few ladies out for a trip today." Logan remarked, washing his hands in the sink.

Ororo smiled at the jab, having grown to be like a mother to Kitty while Jubilee had slipped past her influence just as much as the last who was biologically a true sister to Logan as the rest of them. Even still she held them dearly and had moved heaven and earth in her hunt for Jubilee only to have to trust the girl had known what she was doing, just as much as Laura had when she had gone off on her own. Now they were all her under one roof with her and the man they all looked up to.

"Apparently Kitty has arranged for some of those in our community to ask kindly of Jubilation to entertain them in their studies." Ororo said diplomatically.

"I don't know why she doesn't just have me call up Doc Strange ta see what he can't do ta fix this." Logan grumbled.

"Logan, she's a grown woman with her own insecurities and desires, if she doesn't wish to seek help so soon we have to respect that." Ororo chastised.

"Didn't stop ya from getting three different kinds o' Ghost Rider up on my tail when I had things all under control." Logan mumbled.

"Logan, you were in Hell! I do not know what dictionary you are using but that does not equate to control!" Ororo yelled.

"Well, goes ta show ya that Azazel punk was full o' horseshit." Logan snorted, drying his hands on the towel.

Once again Ororo wondered just when her definition for the strange had grown so abstract to call this normal, but after her fight with Scott and finding a species of mutants that predated her own it was a bar that was getting longer by the day.

"You'll keep an eye on 'em right?" Logan asked.

Ororo didn't have to ask who 'em was, knowing it was his 'Darlings' along with all the rest of the students who had wormed a way into his heart from Pixie to Paige alike. He asked only to hear it again even though he knew the answer, but still she obliged him.

"Of course I will, and you'll take care of the rest of them." Ororo said, in regards to the rest of the school and all these new mutants born recently.

"Sure thing Ro." Logan chuckled, turning back to Mortimer and giving a jerk of his head that signalled the janitor he was done.

-=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=-

Author's Note : No idea what happened between Kitty and Paige, I just hope it's up on the Marvel Digital comics so I can catch up :) Just a shortie, more to come soon.


	3. Chapter 3

Marvel owns the X-men, no profit is to be made by this work.

"You stole my look."

"No you did."

"But I make this look good."

"Meeeerrrrrrrrr." Jubi-Kitten hissed at the echoing voices as they exited the elevator.

"I believe that would be Spider-man and..." Laura started.

"Deadpool." Kitty groaned.

"Meeeeerrrrrrr." Jubilee hissed anew.

"I expected Spider-man but what's that idiot doing here?" Kitty asked as they women walked along down the hallway with the thrum of potential energy vibrating from marvellous and alien technology.

When it came to problems, few in the world measured up to the likes of Mister Fantastic himself, Reed Richards. The Baxter Building had seen quite nearly everything the world could throw at it, but today that seemed to be a convention of some of the smartest men, women and inbetweens in the world along with a vampiric kitten, a few mutants and two men known for running their mouths.

"I believe we are about to find out." Ororo said soothingly as they turned a corner to greet the ensemble.

Hank, Reed and oddly enough even Tony Stark were all chest deep in some sort of contraption throwing out enough technobabble that it became part of the ambiance of the room. Nearby Doctor Nemesis was having a heated discussion with none other than the Algerian beauty herself Monet St. Croix. It seemed M was winning even if the not so good doctor was loath to admit it. At the same time both Spider-man and Deadpool turned away from their argument of 'Who Wore it Better' (even if the similarities of their customs were superficial at best) to somehow work that surprised look through cowls.

"So she's still a Dracula and not just a regular kitty?." Wade asked pointing a finger to the kitty in question.

Fluffy and cuddly as she was, Jubilee showed just what a Vampiric Kitten could do and pounced at the infamous 'Merc with a Mouth' doing most everyone the disservice of shredding his cowl to reveal his rather less than photogenic features beneath.

"Yep! Still a Dracula Folks! Aw, who's just the cutest little creature of the night, you are, yes you are.." Wade cheered as if to some back stage audience as he extracted the kitty intent on parting his face from his skull.

"Jubilation!" Ororo snapped, crossing her arms and glaring at her charge.

"Meeerrrrr." Jubilee hissed, held by the scruff of her neck working the stink eye against Wade.

"Don't make me get the spray bottle of holy water again." Kitty added in threat.

"You actually have a...wait a minute, again?" Spider-man asked, only for Kitty to pull out an everyday spray bottle from her bag.

"At a rest stop she exsanguinated a squirrel." Laura said rather blandly.

"We stopped by a store and a church on the way here, we're getting the feeling she needs to get back to normal fast." Kitty explained.

The look on Spider-man's cowl was one of someone trying to picture the scene just described only to realize all too late it was just nightmare fuel.

"She put the corpse on my seat, I think she thought it was a present." Kitty sighed.

"Actually I have a present for Jubilation, oh and hello Paige, I hear you're teaching now." Monet greeted, excusing herself from a flustered Doctor Nemesis.

"Monet." Pagie returned.

Jubilee's overly intelligent kitty eyes stared up to her former rival and after causing enough if it in her lifetime, her nose twitched catching the scent of mischief. Mischief in this case turned out to be a shiny apple as she leaned in near to stare the little kitten in the eyes. Surprising most, Jubilee just licked Monet on the nose and purred at having her ear scratched whilst Monet took her from the wise cracking assassin.

"Tables are turned, aren't they?" Monet cooed, petting the vampiric kitten.

"Did I miss something?" Megan asked, peeking between Kitty and Paige.

"Just an inside joke, I'll tell you about it later." Paige promised, wandering off with Pixie to go and see just what had three of the smartest men in the world stumped.

"Fortunately I keep a spare, never know when you'll get clawed, mauled, run over, shot, exploded..." Wade rambled all the ways he had been injured while pulling on a new mask.

"I should ask what wax he uses." Mortimer remarked beside Ororo, admiring the sheen of the floors.

"I am sure he would love to tell you all about his floors." Ororo said kindly.

Wandering off after the ladies and their cuddly ward, she left Mortimer to hold his own with the likes of Spider-man and Deadpool. Villain he might have once been, he had one strength too many people in the world were lacking, common sense. Ororo imagined he'd be able to handle himself, worrying just what mischief the ladies she had been entrusted with might just be up to.

-=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=-

"I thought it was a laser pointer!" Megan shrieked.

"It was a laser!" Kitty cried, eyeing the destruction.

"She still chased it." Laura noted.

"Actually, she caught it." Monet added.

Picking up the smoldering Jubilee, Laura poked a finger into her mouth and felt a sharp bite. Vitality returned to her furry little friend along with some missing patches of her ebon coat. The purring was just like any kitten, a deep rumble from her belly, only with glowing red eyes that blinked open once she was sated.

"Why does he have that just laying around!?" Megan nearly screamed.

"This was the team that had a member who was usually on fire." Laura noted.

"That doesn't justify having a laser laying around where children can find it!" Kitty shrieked.

"Have you met their children?" Laura inquired.

It was around that point they realized they were calling the Kettle that was the Fantastic Four black, while they were the pot. Back to their original worries, Jubilee had indeed chased the red dot which lead them to further worries about too many days spent as a kitten affecting her psyche.

"Try petting her belly." Kitty posed.

"No." Everyone including Laura and Monet chorused loudly.

Puffing her lips up and thinking, Kitty realized she was doing Science. That meant they needed a test subject. Currently there was the worlds best walking, talking crash test dummy around. Grinning deviously, Kitty leaned in to whisper her plan with the rest who looked interested aside from Megan who thought it was a bit mean to Mister Deadpool.

Ten minutes later the trap was set, Megan teleporting to the nearest 7-11 for a microwaveable burrito that they put in what was promised to be a microwave oven by all the posit notes on it. Jubilee was currently snoozing on top of it soaking up the warmth and the rumble as the plate inside spun around and around. Having tea at the kitchenette, they watched Wade walk in and make a beeline for the microwave to watch the countdown tick away.

"Should we be doing this?" Ororo asked, enjoying a sip of her tea.

"Science." Kitty and Megan answered, no other place on the Earth suited to this deranged madness than the Baxter Building.

"Heya Draculee...is this your burrito?" Wade asked, reaching a hand to the belly that was eays pickings as Jubilee lay on her back in kitten like bliss to the warmth of the microwave.

The moment the Mercenary's hand touched the warm downy fuzz of the Vampiric Kitten's belly, Kitty found out just what Dark Science there was in the world. She imagined many self avowed villains would cower at the sight of their horrid deed, something so cute doing deeds that weren't meant to be seen by all the people on the internet looking for their next cheezburger loving kitty.

"Okay, that's it. We gotta get her back to normal." Kitty swore.

"Found my thumb!" Wade cheered, munching away at the burrito with his 'good' meaning 'only' hand.

-=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=-

"You are absolutely sure this will work?" Kitty asked for the, thinking about it she wondered if umpteenth was a real word or not.

"Positive." Reed said.

"Absolutely." Hank assured.

"No fricking clue." Tony finished, the two geniuses before him turning to give him the stink eye.

"Thank you for your honesty Mister Stark." Ororo said pleasantly.

In a cloud of pixie dust and a cry of NovaI'mgettingthehelloutofhere! Megan vanished with Ororo, Paige, Spider-man (figuring he didn't need another accident affecting his genetics), and Doctor Nemesis. Left behind were Laura (who would likely follow the motto of the X-men and 'Get Better'), Monet who was sure her nigh invulnerability would protect her, and Toad who was still reading the directions on the 'Unstable Molecule Wax' he'd been gifted.

"Shouldn't there be a lead shield or something?" Kitty asked, still holding the button she'd been given to press.

"It's absolutely..." Reed started.

"Safe..." Hank added.

"Just let me get into my...okay I'm all armoured up." Tony, dressed now as Ironman, finished.

Giving the button to Mister Fantastic, Kitty proceeded to take Laura and Monet in hand and phase them just a step out of the usual world and hoped whatever was about to happen wouldn't make it that far. Mortimer was still busy reading and she didn't want to interrupt him when he looked so focussed.

"In three, two, one..." Reed counted down, pressing the button at the zero most added in at the exact moment a small sun enveloped Jubilee who was currently napping on the warm, rumbling bit of technology.

Even out of phase with the usual reality it was blinding, and Kitty vowed to have her vision checked out the moment it was all over. Blinking away the stars, suns, and other cosmic phenomena she'd seen, Kitty saw the familiar silhouette of the closest thing she had to a little sister. Complete with...a tail...and...oddly enough, kitty ears.

"I...am going to kill someone..." Jubilee ground out between her clenched teeth.

"Hey, no Pro Bono, if you're gonna kill someone take a contract first!" Wade called from the kitchenette.

"I believe we may have made a..." Reed started, already pulling out a tablet to start typing away on.

"Mistake in our calculations." Hank finished, throwing open a panel to look at the hardware settings.

"I didn't do it." Tony swore, hands raised and glowing incase he needed to defend himself.

At that moment Megan and company returned, the sniggers and snickers doing nothing for the young Vampires mood.

"Maybe we should call Doctor Strange." Kitty offered.

Despite herself, Ororo chuckled and smiled, the words echoing another just then. If they had just listened to him, none of this would have happened. But then again she had to think, where would the fun in that have been.

-=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=-

Author's Note : Just some more silliness :) Enjoy!


	4. Chapter 4

Marvel owns the X-men, no profit is to be made by this work.

"By my Stars and garters!" Hank exclaimed.

"Oops." Tony said in that way of seeing someone else make a mistake.

"May I? Thank you." Reed asked, gently touching one of the feline ears to see it twitch at his touch.

"That's hot." Deadpool said, actually good last words for a tombstone but of course he was really, really hard to kill.

It would have been a further lesson in this but Kitty managed to reach him in time, that being right about when he opened his mouth, and phased him so the...vampiric catgirl could pass through him and...dent the wall.

"Sonova..errrrrrr." Jubilee started, a sound not unlike a bamf heard as a cloud of inky black smoke cleared to reveal a kitten.

"Someone throw her against a wall to see if she changes back." Deadpool offered.

Watching horrified, Kitty saw something that would likely have PETA in arms and out for blood the likes of which all the mutant haters in the world couldn't muster. Grabbing Jubilee by the tail, Laura flung her at the opposite wall only for another not quite bamf to be heard, this time a dishevelled catgirl Jubilee to be left likely counting the bats that flew around her head if the classic cartoons hadn't failed her.

"If you don't stop talking this moment I will, and I promise, phase you into the wall and leave you there." Kitty swore to Deadpool.

It turned out she wasn't the only one who had taken sign language, a nervous twitch of her eye getting the better of her as Kitty clenched her fists. One thing was obvious, physical trauma seemed to case the shift or transformation, and currently it was a choice of vampiric kitty or catgirl.

"Can someone just call Doctor Strange already?" Kitty asked of the crowd.

"The customer you are trying to reach is..." Laura's phone announced, only to sound like some extraplanar language that made most of the alien dialects she knew sound downright normal.

"It sounds like someone with a tongue tried to pronounce something that's meant to be vocalized with a stomach gas sack." Megan informed.

"Wait, what, actually nevermind." Kitty sighed, wondering if it wasn't really he stress of being a Headmaster that had the Professor go bald.

"Pretty much every time I ever tried to get a hold of Doc Strange it was the same thing, I think he just screens his calls." Spider-man related, the eyes of his cowl doing a good impression of someone with a wrinkled brow of irritation.

"Megan, can you just take us back to the school so we can figure this out there." Kitty groaned.

"Okdokie!" Megan cheered before adding a NovaclickyourheelsthreetimesDorthy!

The world shifted in that way she was getting used to, friends with at least two teleporters before pixie had gotten onto the scene leaving her accustomed to that odd sense of being...elsewhere...only to arrive at where you wanted to be. Looking around, she saw everyone who was supposed to be there. Ororo, Laura, Paige, Jubilee, Megan, Hank, Deadpool...

"You forgot Mortimer!" Paige shrieked.

"You brought Him!?" Kitty screamed, still trying to get over her trial of finding a replacement teacher for Paige afer she had quit, only to...hang around.

"Why do I got a craving for Tuna?" Jubilee asked.

It didn't go unnoticed by Kitty that Ororo was giggling, maybe not giggling actually but a chuckle at the least. It wasn't a full guffaw anyways so she was sure she was still Ororo, just that she had found the whole scene playing out as it was to be funny enough to not quite laugh but giggle...or at the least chuckle.

"Logan told you that we just should have taken her to Doctor Strange in the first place didn't he?" Kitty asked flatly.

"Yes." Ororo replied with a smile of someone enjoying the whole scene play out.

It was at that moment Kitty decided that there needed to be an addendum to the sorts of fashionable hair for evil doppelgangers. Goatees were of course the default classic, but Mohawks should be added right up there as there was no way the Ororo Munroe she knew would be taking as much immense pleasure in this whole farce as she was.

"There better be some tuna or Ima get cranky." Jubilee swore as she stalked off.

"Megan, dear, dear Megan?" Kitty cooed turning to the winged pink haired girl.

"Novaanythingtonotbeherewhenthecupboardsarebare!" Pixie cried out before vanishing.

"The student picnic was last week was it not?" Ororo asked, a giggle escaping her.

"Yep, lotsa tuna salad too." Kitty answered.

"Should we have someone hit her?" Laura inquired, cracking her knuckles as she volunteered herself.

"Actually...I have an idea." Kitty grinned, the sort of grin evil geniuses with 'Moon Lasers' and 'Shark Tanks' and who said 'No...I expect you to die Mister...generic superspy who wasn't Nick Fury' grinned.

"Should I call Doctor Strange again to see if he's returned to this plane of existence?" Laura asked.

"No, no...I think we can just wait a little longer before that Laura." Kitty said sweetly, thinking payback and her had a thing in common just then.

-=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=-

Author's Note : Just a little update, and a whole bit more silliness :D Enjoy!


	5. Chapter 5

Marvel owns the X-men, no profit is to be made by this work.

* * *

Kitty realized it was a good thing Jubilee wasn't a smoker like a few men she knew, because the last thing she wanted to see having a nic fit was a Vampire. As it was Megan came back right around the time pots and pans were being thrown around the kitchen.

"You got it right?" Kitty asked of Laura.

"Yes." Laura replied handing off the item she'd been sent in to the kitchen to get in the confusion of the current ransacking.

"Alright Wade, time to man up." Kitty said handing off 'the item' and the can of Tuna.

"We've all seen enough cat videos to know where this is going, right folks?" Wade asked in a way that left Kitty wondering if he was really talking to them or someone else whom only he could see.

"Doesn't matter..." Kitty started.

"Had sex?" Wade interrupted sounding a touch hopeful.

"What? No, no! Ew, god no! You lost the toss!" Kitty spat in disgust.

"Can I see that coin again?" Wade asked with an outstretched hand.

"No." Kitty snorted and walked off.

"Grumpy Kat." Wade chuckled, plugging in 'the item' and putting the can of Tuna to it to press it down and accept his fate.

Megan knew how fast Vampiric speed was, fast enough to catch up with her after she had teleported and find a boulder in between. The moment the sound of the electric can opener started there was a blur followed by what she swore was a sonic boom and a not quite bamf as a familiar silhouette vanished in a cloud of smoke. Where Wade had been there was now a confused kitten looking around all the while pawing at a half opened can of tuna frantically. Where Wade went...was a good likeness of Wade through the wall with arms and legs splayed out just as she remembered from her cartoons.

"I didn't think that one through." Kitty said as the dust settled.

"Mister Toynbee is still at the Baxter Building." Laura noted.

"Crud, well...I guess he can fix it when he gets back." Kitty shrugged, sometimes it was good to be the boss.

"Should we perhaps open the can for Jubilation?" Hank asked.

Throwing lots to decide who would have to try and pry he half opened can of tuna from the vampiric kitten gnawing away, this time Kitty didn't have the benefit of a coin gifted to her by a certain thief and had to face the music. Phased until the right moment, she grabbed the kitten by the scruff of her neck and managed to open the can with her free hand. Reuniting the two, the purring was both adorable and a reminder that she really had to help get her friend back to normal before this stuck.

"Alright folks, now for something completely different." Kitty beamed to her cohorts.

-=+=–=+=–=+=-

"Are you sure...?" Megan asked tentatively.

"For the last time Megan it's just a run of the mill laser pointer, I've checked it three times." Kitty sighed.

They had relocated and were awaiting their next vict...challenger. Laura looked a little apprehensive but Kitty just figured it was the right kind of fun to help her get over him finally. Jubilee was currently being entertained by a string, bad as she felt she promised to take her out for some Sushi once her fun was over with. But before they finally got a hold of Doctor Strange to sort this whole mess out of course. Spotting their prey, she grinned and handed Laura the laser pointer.

"I saw a vid of this on the net." Kitty remarked as she readied herself.

At the first sight of the red dot Jubilee was on it with string still wrapped about her tail, but the red dot was elusive and raced down the hall. With far more speed and strength than any cuddly kitten should possess she gave chase, right into a boy who had chose for himself the name Hellion, a boy who was Laura's ex and currently being a moody, broody jerk at the school. One not quite bamf later and Jubilee lay atop him trying to sort out just why she was there and what was going on.

"Cat Bowling!" Kitty snickered.

"That was oddly satisfying." Laura admitted.

"I'm so glad I came to this school now." Quentin announced as he mingled in amongst them with Broo in tow.

"I believe Mister Keller is in distress." Broo noted as he adjusted his glasses.

Distress proved to be the self named Hellion having to shield himself with a telekinetic bubble as the vampiress atop him punched him fuelled with unnatural strength. Cracked tiles and another silhouette in the floor, Jubilee was stalking off with her tail wagging like a pissed off puddy tat.

"I think I'm gonna have to get Toad a raise..." Kitty said staring at more damage to the school.

"Why did Jubilee punch him?" Laura asked confused.

"I just let her know exactly what Hellion was thinking as he stared at her..." Quentin started only to be interrupted.

"Mammary glands?" Broo supplied.

"Technically yes, but we call them..." Quentin started until a cough from Kitty silenced him.

"Breasts, knockers, ta tas, hooters." Laura supplied deadpan.

"When you say it like that it takes all the fun out of it." Quentin grumbled, thrusting his hands in his jacket pocket and brooding as only a teenage Omega class mutant could.

"Don't you two have class?" Kitty asked.

"Spare period, I was gonna go bother Headmaster McGruff but this looks more interesting while having the same results." Quentin explained.

"I have already completed studying the lesson plan for the semester so I thought following Mister Quire here might prove educational in my understanding of Earth Subcultures." Broo said as he adjusted his glasses.

Ready to dismiss the pair, Kitty had second thoughts realizing she might just be able to keep Kid Omega out of trouble for once while having some one on one time with Broo. She still had a few things she wanted to try before checking to see if Doctor Strange was in. Most of it was self serving abuse of a friend, but then again she had suffered Jubilee at thirteen and that oh so important -half- so she figured they were even.

"I wonder what Catnip would do to her." Quentin mused dangerously as everyone turned to him in awful insight of just the evil genius he could be when he put his mind to it.

-=+=–=+=–=+=–=+=-


End file.
